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I’ve never been to Portland, but this is exactly what I imagine goes down there on the regular—and not just in Portland, but in every Denny’s bathroom across the globe. But especially in Portland. Why? It’s just the vibe. I don’t know. Maybe I watched one episode of Portlandia while mildly concussed and this is what I walked away with. Portland has always felt like a city out in the Pacific Northwest doing its own thing, like a dystopian Sims neighborhood that Sid from Toy Story built just to make all the residents as depressed as possible.
Is it pretty there (outside the city center) I bet. Would I like to go visit? Sure. I love to travel. I’ve been to 50+ countries, but never to Portland. Why not? Because there’s homeless encampments, drug dens underneath the freeways, gray overcast skies, and severe depression where I live. Why fly halfway across the country to get what I get for free in my own backyard?
I bet there are lots of stray dogs in Portland though. And I love dogs! So that might spur me to visit. But then I’d have to leave them behind, so I would just be bringing back some depression…maybe hepatitis…or gonorrhea if I eat out. So I’ll probably stay put for a while.
My gosh, this caption is such a downer. Just thinking about Portland has tanked my mood. Time to hit up Denny’s and demolish a few Grand Slam Breakfasts for a much-needed dopamine rush. And if that doesn’t help, there’s always this tweaker named Steve hanging around in the bathroom who swears he was on Portlandia and has a solid hookup. But I don’t believe him—wait a minute… oh my god…he’s Steve Buscemi?!? Whoa! Did I get a reach-around from Steve Buscemi?!?! That’s crazy!!!!
If you read this entire, comment:
“One time, I met Steve Buscemi in a Denny’s bathroom.”
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I’ve never been to Portland, but this is exactly what I imagine goes down there on the regular—and not just in Portland, but in every Denny’s bathroom across the globe. But especially in Portland. Why? It’s just the vibe. I don’t know. Maybe I watched one episode of Portlandia while mildly concussed and this is what I walked away with. Portland has always felt like a city out in the Pacific Northwest doing its own thing, like a dystopian Sims neighborhood that Sid from Toy Story built just to make all the residents as depressed as possible.
Is it pretty there (outside the city center) I bet. Would I like to go visit? Sure. I love to travel. I’ve been to 50+ countries, but never to Portland. Why not? Because there’s homeless encampments, drug dens underneath the freeways, gray overcast skies, and severe depression where I live. Why fly halfway across the country to get what I get for free in my own backyard?
I bet there are lots of stray dogs in Portland though. And I love dogs! So that might spur me to visit. But then I’d have to leave them behind, so I would just be bringing back some depression…maybe hepatitis…or gonorrhea if I eat out. So I’ll probably stay put for a while.
My gosh, this caption is such a downer. Just thinking about Portland has tanked my mood. Time to hit up Denny’s and demolish a few Grand Slam Breakfasts for a much-needed dopamine rush. And if that doesn’t help, there’s always this tweaker named Steve hanging around in the bathroom who swears he was on Portlandia and has a solid hookup. But I don’t believe him—wait a minute… oh my god…he’s Steve Buscemi?!? Whoa! Did I get a reach-around from Steve Buscemi?!?! That’s crazy!!!!
If you read this entire, comment: “One time, I met Steve Buscemi in a Denny’s bathroom.”
-
🌭 FOLLOW ❤️ SHARE 🌭
-
#comedy #tweets #viral #darkhumor #funny #holupmemes #explorepage #funnymemes #nosferatu #relatablememe #wtfmemes #hoodmemes #tweetmemes #sausagetunnel #relateablepost #spicymemes #holup #meme #memes #spicy #memesdaily #twittermemes #edgymemes #shitposting #twitterquotes #nosferatumemes #dead #bloopers #portland #newsmemes
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Is it pretty there (outside the city center) I bet. Would I like to go visit? Sure. I love to travel. I’ve been to 50+ countries, but never to Portland. Why not? Because there’s homeless encampments, drug dens underneath the freeways, gray overcast skies, and severe depression where I live. Why fly halfway across the country to get what I get for free in my own backyard?
I bet there are lots of stray dogs in Portland though. And I love dogs! So that might spur me to visit. But then I’d have to leave them behind, so I would just be bringing back some depression…maybe hepatitis…or gonorrhea if I eat out. So I’ll probably stay put for a while.
My gosh, this caption is such a downer. Just thinking about Portland has tanked my mood. Time to hit up Denny’s and demolish a few Grand Slam Breakfasts for a much-needed dopamine rush. And if that doesn’t help, there’s always this tweaker named Steve hanging around in the bathroom who swears he was on Portlandia and has a solid hookup. But I don’t believe him—wait a minute… oh my god…he’s Steve Buscemi?!? Whoa! Did I get a reach-around from Steve Buscemi?!?! That’s crazy!!!!
If you read this entire, comment: “One time, I met Steve Buscemi in a Denny’s bathroom.”
-
🌭 FOLLOW ❤️ SHARE 🌭
-
#comedy #tweets #viral #darkhumor #funny #holupmemes #explorepage #funnymemes #nosferatu #relatablememe #wtfmemes #hoodmemes #tweetmemes #sausagetunnel #relateablepost #spicymemes #holup #meme #memes #spicy #memesdaily #twittermemes #edgymemes #shitposting #twitterquotes #nosferatumemes #dead #bloopers #portland #newsmemes