No one ever figures out the lie. I didn’t hire the Asian girl…she did it for free. Duh 🙄 it’s so obvious haha. No seriously imagine memorizing this monologue and saying it at Thanksgiving dinner when your grandmother asks you to pass the sweet potatoes or when a cop asks you “do you know why I pulled you over?” Or when the check-in agent at the airport asks you “if anyone else packed your bags” or when you come back from vacation and your boss asks you what you did during your time off? Haha im gonna memorize this. My grandma will love it!
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When I got to college I had never really heard of Pink Floyd and my roommate was shocked. He said “so you never listened to Pink Floyd while watching The Wizard of Oz?” and I said “no…wtf”. He’s like “you have to experience it” and he was right! Unfortunately we couldn’t obtain Syd Barrett’s favorite candy until a year later at the end of Spring finals week and I’ll never forget the experience. My roommate, myself, and three other guys were hanging out in my bedroom in the basement of our fraternity house. We had just finished watching the Wizard of Oz and started watching “The Wall” when my friend started talking smack about one of our fellow “brothers” who complained to him earlier in the day about the earthy, dank small originating from my room. Rightfully so I may add since we were going through shwag like the Kardashians go through lip filler. Anyway, my buddy started ragging on this guy, who we’ll call “Eric” for simplicity sake and cause that’s his real name, and then I started goofing on him and then all 5 of us started telling stories and anecdotes poking fun of this guy while we periodically zone-out and get lost in the animation taking place on-screen before we pick right back up where we left off and continue making trashing Eric. This continued for a good hour or so before I noticed that one of the guys had been eerily quiet for a long time so I asked him “Are you ok man?” and he just kinda nodded his head toward the side of the room away from the TV. So we all turn and look in unison and wouldn’t you know it Eric was sitting down right there. Haha. He’d be in the room nearly the entire time we’d been goofing on him but we were too f’d up to realize it. Haha that was awesome! If you read all of this post a comment goofing about a dude named Eric who you know.
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This should go without saying as I don’t know anyone who would attend a high school track meet without packing all of these essential items but just in case some of y’all are out their slacking here’s a packing list for y’all. ✌️
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I’m not trying to say anything negative against Mississippi but this just seems like such a downgrade. Like what on Earth could have inspired so many to leave this Garden of Eden just to live in Jackson? Weird. Weird. Weird. Guess it’s just one of life’s biggest mysteries that we’ll never have any definitive explanation for. Like why are there gonna be so many people who won’t understand this joke and will leave comments specifically stating as such. But then there will be so many others who will read this caption and comment “economic opportunity” or “it was for the chance to be free” which only further infuriate those who don’t understand the joke or didn’t read this caption. Let the games begin…
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