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@nelsausagetun

Memes | Video Memes | Music Memes




Apparently, this song has already been annedbay (that’s Pig Latin, btw!) on every other social media platform—except this one. Which is kinda weird, because, well, you know… Kanye isn’t exactly active on Instagram. So, in theory, it would’ve made more sense for it to disappear from here first.

Anyway, I suspect this song will either resurrect Kanye’s career from the ashes and earn him a coveted gold star—or serve as the final nail in the cross, so to speak. The match that ignites its inevitable incineration. The train that takes it on a one-way trip with no return. The secret staircase behind a bookshelf that leads to an attic where he’ll be forced to lock himself away and journal endlessly like a teenage girl in hiding—obsessing over a childhood crush on his cousin, Peter van Pels (or as he’ll call him, Peter Van Daan), overanalyzing every silence, every shy glance, every awkward conversation, every kiss—until he’s built an entire one-sided relationship in his head that leads absolutely nowhere.

And then, he dies.

And the journal is discovered by his dad, who publishes it—and somehow, it becomes required reading for seventh graders around the world.

Either way, it’s shaping up to be an interesting summer on social media. Maybe it’s time though to take a break and decompress—go on vacation somewhere like the Maldives, Koh Phi Phi, Borneo, or Buenos Aires.

If you read the caption, comment: ‘Peter’s a shy, awkward boy. He’s not even good-looking.’ –Kanye, probably, so people who didn’t read it won’t understand the comments.
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Dad and his friend are huge Metallica fans. So when he gets home and dinner isn’t ready, he plops down in his study to practice “Enter Sandman.” He’s an avid guitar player, but he struggles with the main riff’s galloping rhythm and the E minor to F power chord transition.

After a frustrating session, if he still can’t nail the fast palm-muted section before the solo, he heads to the kitchen and smashes… a few beers to relax and forget how sloppy his downpicking sounds.

If that doesn’t calm him down, he grabs a baseball bat and hits… some ground balls to my brother in the backyard. Mom’s not a fan—it ruins her tulips—so she nags him to stop.

If he’s still upset, he heads to the garage, grabs his 9-gauge, walks back into the kitchen, steadies his hand, and finishes off… rewiring the new LED lights he installed to match the custom kitchen he built for her.

Why he keeps copper wire in the gun cabinet has always boggled me. He says it’s for safety—since vagrants roam the neighborhood at night, breaking into garages. Sometimes, though, it’s just the neighbor, Mrs. Wilson, returning a borrowed drill.

Poor Mrs. Wilson never saw it coming. Who knew Dad could land a headshot from his recliner? I wouldn’t—especially since his fingers can’t even manage a clean E5 to F5 transition.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there—especially you, Mrs. Wilson. Your departure left a big void… especially since they still haven’t found you. But hey, my mom’s tulips are coming in beautifully. All thanks to you.

And don’t worry—Dad will learn “Enter Sandman” soon enough. It breaks his heart to hear your husband cry every night, at his attempt to master the muted triplet gallops and dual guitar harmonies of your favorite song.
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Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparently).

Wait—can you, though? I’ve heard of the mythical “N-word pass,” but no one’s ever explained how you actually get one. It feels like something out of a fairy tale—like a leprechaun’s pot of gold, a goose that lays golden eggs, a flying carpet, a genie in a lamp, or a polite Frenchman. Cool if true, but I’ve never seen one.

Maybe once you hit 100 million followers, one just magically appears in your DMs? That’d be cool. Or… maybe not. Influencers are mostly tools. Mr. Beast seems solid—he does a lot of good. The worst are the micro-influencers who write long-winded captions that go absolutely nowhere.

Anyway, wouldn’t it be wild if the Black community officially granted N-word passes to select individuals? Maybe just certain Asians—like Japanese (they’re super polite), or Thais, Filipinos, Indonesians… honestly, most of Southeast Asia is pretty chill. Maybe toss in a few Kiwis and Aussies too. They’re laid-back, and with those accents, it’d be kind of hilarious. Imagine if Steve Irwin had an N-word pass. Crikey N-! No? Just me?

Here’s the pitch: a reality show. Think Jeopardy! meets American Gladiators. Contestants compete against the likes of Clarence Thomas, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Mike Tyson, Mariah Carey, Chris Rock, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, etc.—in trivia, athletics, hair braiding, catalytic converter theft maybe even a rap battle—for a golden N-word pass. Winner gets to say it (soft “-gga,” obviously) for one year, after which it’s ceremoniously revoked.

Tell me that wouldn’t be must-watch TV.

And if anyone steals this idea, I expect a 10% finder’s fee—or else you know what I’m gonna call you… not nice!
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Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...
Geez, Jimmy, chill the heck out. You hit 500 million followers and suddenly think you can drop the N-word? Retweeting it counts too, by the way (unless you censor it with **—then you’re cool, apparent...