Apparently, this song has already been annedbay (that’s Pig Latin, btw!) on every other social media platform—except this one. Which is kinda weird, because, well, you know… Kanye isn’t exactly active on Instagram. So, in theory, it would’ve made more sense for it to disappear from here first.
Anyway, I suspect this song will either resurrect Kanye’s career from the ashes and earn him a coveted gold star—or serve as the final nail in the cross, so to speak. The match that ignites its inevitable incineration. The train that takes it on a one-way trip with no return. The secret staircase behind a bookshelf that leads to an attic where he’ll be forced to lock himself away and journal endlessly like a teenage girl in hiding—obsessing over a childhood crush on his cousin, Peter van Pels (or as he’ll call him, Peter Van Daan), overanalyzing every silence, every shy glance, every awkward conversation, every kiss—until he’s built an entire one-sided relationship in his head that leads absolutely nowhere.
And then, he dies.
And the journal is discovered by his dad, who publishes it—and somehow, it becomes required reading for seventh graders around the world.
Either way, it’s shaping up to be an interesting summer on social media. Maybe it’s time though to take a break and decompress—go on vacation somewhere like the Maldives, Koh Phi Phi, Borneo, or Buenos Aires.
If you read the caption, comment: ‘Peter’s a shy, awkward boy. He’s not even good-looking.’ –Kanye, probably, so people who didn’t read it won’t understand the comments.
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