Twitter people say we don get TYLA rival 😂. So make she calm down! @keleyaa_ is causing trouble with this @ayrastarr cover 🔥 🇳🇬 🇳🇬

Dad and his friend are huge Metallica fans. So when he gets home and dinner isn’t ready, he plops down in his study to practice “Enter Sandman.” He’s an avid guitar player, but he struggles with the main riff’s galloping rhythm and the E minor to F power chord transition.

After a frustrating session, if he still can’t nail the fast palm-muted section before the solo, he heads to the kitchen and smashes… a few beers to relax and forget how sloppy his downpicking sounds.

If that doesn’t calm him down, he grabs a baseball bat and hits… some ground balls to my brother in the backyard. Mom’s not a fan—it ruins her tulips—so she nags him to stop.

If he’s still upset, he heads to the garage, grabs his 9-gauge, walks back into the kitchen, steadies his hand, and finishes off… rewiring the new LED lights he installed to match the custom kitchen he built for her.

Why he keeps copper wire in the gun cabinet has always boggled me. He says it’s for safety—since vagrants roam the neighborhood at night, breaking into garages. Sometimes, though, it’s just the neighbor, Mrs. Wilson, returning a borrowed drill.

Poor Mrs. Wilson never saw it coming. Who knew Dad could land a headshot from his recliner? I wouldn’t—especially since his fingers can’t even manage a clean E5 to F5 transition.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there—especially you, Mrs. Wilson. Your departure left a big void… especially since they still haven’t found you. But hey, my mom’s tulips are coming in beautifully. All thanks to you.

And don’t worry—Dad will learn “Enter Sandman” soon enough. It breaks his heart to hear your husband cry every night, at his attempt to master the muted triplet gallops and dual guitar harmonies of your favorite song.
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OMG y’all!!! We just hit 20k followers!!!
Thank you so much—I appreciate all of you. Yes, Kanye… even you… even though you like fish sticks in your mouth. You’re all loved, and I’m so grateful for the support you’ve shown me and my content.

I started this account because I used to just post memes on Reddit in my free time. But then they booted me for saying things people didn’t like, or asking questions people didn’t want to answer, like:

“Who’s a person whose work ignited passion in others and left a lasting impact on the world?”

“Who’s someone whose untimely death left a gap, but whose influence is still felt today?”

“Who’s someone who spoke with a unique accent, but still managed to have a huge impact on the world?”

I guess Reddit got tired of me going on and on about Alan Turing—who history misunderstood as just a “codebreaker,” probably because, like Kanye, he liked fish sticks in his mouth. He was wildly underrated. His work laid the foundation for modern computing and AI, but he died too young, just as he was exploring artificial intelligence and machine learning. And yet… no one ever guessed him. Nope. They always said [deleted]—who I’ve never heard of??? And seriously, who besides Elon Musk names their kid [deleted]???

Anyway. While I love posting memes and (hopefully) bringing laughter to your day, I equally—or maybe even more so—love writing the long, winding captions accompany them and that most of the time go nowhere, but this time might lead to your doorstep.

So if you’ve made it this far and follow this account:
Comment your answer to the questions above before the sun sets on Kanye West’s birthday (6/8) and you may be the lucky one to receive a small token of appreciation from me to you for your support. I promise it won’t be fish sticks.

Oh yeah… please don’t comment “[deleted].” Thanks.

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I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter (if you celebrate), or a wonderful 4/20 (if you celebrate), or a wonderful “Awake and Bake” — as I am now christening any Easter Sunday that happens to fall on 4/20. Some would say it’s a day to commemorate the Highest of Highs. Probably Seth Rogen would say that, because that’s not a very clever pun and his brain is probably completely fried from engaging in recreational use for 50+ years. I’m guessing his mom was a regular toker while he was nursing, so he’s just been stoned since conception.

Anyway, these are just memes. I’m Christian, so God told me it was okay to make them to bring laughter to some people. If they’re not your thing, that’s cool — just keep scrollin’, scrollin’, scrollin’, scrollin’… (keep scrollin’, scrollin’, scrollin’, scrollin’...)
That’s Limp Bizkit, in case you were wondering — if they were a Christian rock band singing about the Dead Sea Scrolls being drafted.

Anyway — where was I? No idea.

Yeah, so Easter Sunday and 4/20 don’t land on the same day very often, so I had to take the opportunity to make some memes. I’m super proud of the last one. I doubt the Middle East is, though.

Oh well — you can’t break any bones without throwing a few stones.

I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m stoned.

What’s Sandra Bullock doing right now? Let me know in the comments.
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